17 Comments
Mar 27, 2023Liked by Graham Seibert

Graham:

Unfortunately, in a life made with proper decisions, the pick

of your first wife was not an illustrious example. Almost all of us

had "starter marriages"; I did! However, even though together for

or almost 10 years, we produced no children. A blessing!

Unfortunately for you, this "wasted" marriage produced 3 children,

none of whom could realize the value of Dad. (Remainds me of the

old phrase: "A flunky has a flunky's conception of greatness").

In this ditty, Mary Ann was the flunky, not Graham. But Graham needed

to absorb all the fallout. The feeling of rejection, heartache, and so on.

(Reminds me of being sued by my Mother for abuse!)

We all carry regrets, and skeletons in the closet, but, frankly, no one

deserves a rejection like this. Mary Ann is the culprit: you were the target.

Nevertheless, take a deep breath and remind yourself of the riches

you nurtured in the current family. You ARE blessed!

Expand full comment
Mar 27, 2023Liked by Graham Seibert

Here's my thinking: 3 tries for the 1st key; 2 tries for the 2nd; 1 try for the 3rd - 6 total (Note: only 3 wrong attempts needed for 1st key because then you know it works in 4th lock & therefore doesn't need a 4th try).

Expand full comment
Mar 27, 2023·edited Mar 27, 2023Liked by Graham Seibert

6 times. 3 times for the first lock, 2 times for the second lock, once for the third lock and no times for the fourth lock.

''These professional women must look at Oksana with interest and perhaps a bit of envy. She has chosen a traditional path through life and it is working. '' Oksana chooses to follow the behaviour that her species has consistently displayed for millions of years. And weirdly, and completely randomly, it suits her nature and works. Other women choose to behave contrary to their species evolved behaviour and, weirdly, it doesn't leave them fulfilled or satisfied.

If penguins were to go and live in the desert we would think they were insane, if eagles were to nest on the ground, we would think they were mad. Yet when humans display equally maladaptive behaviour, we honestly don't understand why they are miserable, stressed and on anti despressants.

Expand full comment
Mar 27, 2023Liked by Graham Seibert

In Japan, once divorced, it's normal to be a total stranger.

Divorced couples rarely stay friends.

If the siblings split up, they may or may not have contact with each other. An example of my relatives.

There is a Japanese proverb.

"Third honesty = third time finally realized or try 3 times"

"Buddha's face is allowed up to 3 times = Mistakes are allowed up to 3 times"

Now you are happy for the third time

Expand full comment
Mar 27, 2023Liked by Graham Seibert

The pain reflected here is obvious and won't ever subside. At best prayers for those who who have scorned you. May they someday find the peace you have discovered. I feel sad for them and often wonder how they deal with their anger given life so short. Condolences.

Expand full comment
Mar 27, 2023Liked by Graham Seibert

Graham, I think you did learn something from re-examining your first marriage. You learned that it isn't worth the effort again.

Notch beat me to it. Darn it. :-)

Expand full comment