I regret that your family has, to use the common vernacular, "ghosted you". But as Rodster notes, we spend our lives losing and making relationships. It is more painful when it's family that's lost. Perhaps the best thing is to do as you've done--acknowledge the loss and move on. Too many spend inordinate amounts of time looking back and trying to determine where they went wrong. Perhaps it wasn't them that went wrong.
Thank you! A great pleasure of making a third marriage and second family work is the confirmation that it wasn't me. It was, at least in good measure, not my former wives either, but the zeitgeist that produced the sex, drugs and rock 'n roll revolution - morphing into woke.
Although... leaving your 21 yr old daughter behind, stranded in a to her foreign city with too little money on her (or did you give her your house key for the night?). If you did, it's half ok that you left... If you didn't, I could understand that a spouse could have difficulty getting over that decision of yours. This is not to judge, just to inform...
Such a painful soliloquy. Who can ever know why some hearts grows cold, that forgiveness cannot be tendered? I reflect on members of my family who choose not to relate over some past slight and think life is too short for that. My encouragements go nowhere as I try to broker a truce. Perhaps I can't let it go either.
That was a nice piece, Graham. I had a similar experience with my cousins (all older than me by some nine or more years). Although we were friendly and congenial when I was young, at some point it stopped. Who knows why? It made me sad then. It still makes me sad today.
But of course, life seems to be a process of making new friends, as old ones die or otherwise fade away. It's a sad fact, but fortunately it leads to new interests, new conversations and personal growth.
But friends are not your own children, cousins or close relatives. Those bonds are meant to endure. Unfortunately, you can only do so much. The rest is up to them.
She was stuck at the airport. She had a credit card and cash. Main issue was that she had to fend for herself - find a place to sleep and arrange another flight.
Thank you! Yes, I worked for Al in Frankfurt 1972-4. He was replaced by Theron Fosdick, whom you may recall. Back in Bethesda Al enticed me to join the 4th Presbyterian Church.
I stayed in River House in the summer of '68 as I worked on a Navy proposal to replace Honeywell equipment with IBM.
You must wonder what effect your blog has on readers. So here I go. I have found it to be interesting, educational, informative and a bit inspiring. For instance, I realize that I, also, have mitteilungsbedürfnis. However, I do not have your talent for expressing myself. Nor the courage. To compensate for that lack, I have taken a different tack and created six different websites for my army (1955-7) buddies, fraternity brothers and different branches of the family. The fraternity and army sites each have had over 100 members and more than 600 historical photos and articles. My genealogical research resulted in a 65 page family history for my wife’s paternal side. That was accompanied by dozens of photo books prepared on Shutterfly depicting family history on both sides. One part of my life that awaits a history is Saigon and our experiences there. The memories are painful as it was not my proudest moment, one clouded by the haze of alcohol and dissension. I lived in DC from 1962-68 working on the IRS account, helping with the conversion of the income tax system from punch cards to 1401/7070. And eventually System/360 with Hypertape. What a great experience. I lived in the River House across from the pentagon and eventually bought a house in Alexandria, 3 br, 1.5 ba for $14,000. We share some other common history, Al Bissell. I worked for Al in DC when he was GEM Region Systems Engineering Manager. What a great guy., always with a quip ( can’t make the dogs eat the dog food) and sage advice. That was about 4 years prior to Saigon. In April I begin my 88th year, so it is highly unlikely that our paths will cross again, so keep up the good work. Best wishes for you and yours. Bob
I regret that your family has, to use the common vernacular, "ghosted you". But as Rodster notes, we spend our lives losing and making relationships. It is more painful when it's family that's lost. Perhaps the best thing is to do as you've done--acknowledge the loss and move on. Too many spend inordinate amounts of time looking back and trying to determine where they went wrong. Perhaps it wasn't them that went wrong.
Thank you! A great pleasure of making a third marriage and second family work is the confirmation that it wasn't me. It was, at least in good measure, not my former wives either, but the zeitgeist that produced the sex, drugs and rock 'n roll revolution - morphing into woke.
Although... leaving your 21 yr old daughter behind, stranded in a to her foreign city with too little money on her (or did you give her your house key for the night?). If you did, it's half ok that you left... If you didn't, I could understand that a spouse could have difficulty getting over that decision of yours. This is not to judge, just to inform...
I have similar stories; but being WASP our family pushes everything under the rug, never to be discussed or communicated.
Such a painful soliloquy. Who can ever know why some hearts grows cold, that forgiveness cannot be tendered? I reflect on members of my family who choose not to relate over some past slight and think life is too short for that. My encouragements go nowhere as I try to broker a truce. Perhaps I can't let it go either.
I’d consider myself lucky if I were you.
That was a nice piece, Graham. I had a similar experience with my cousins (all older than me by some nine or more years). Although we were friendly and congenial when I was young, at some point it stopped. Who knows why? It made me sad then. It still makes me sad today.
But of course, life seems to be a process of making new friends, as old ones die or otherwise fade away. It's a sad fact, but fortunately it leads to new interests, new conversations and personal growth.
But friends are not your own children, cousins or close relatives. Those bonds are meant to endure. Unfortunately, you can only do so much. The rest is up to them.
For what it's worth, I like your opinions.
She was stuck at the airport. She had a credit card and cash. Main issue was that she had to fend for herself - find a place to sleep and arrange another flight.
Thank you! Yes, I worked for Al in Frankfurt 1972-4. He was replaced by Theron Fosdick, whom you may recall. Back in Bethesda Al enticed me to join the 4th Presbyterian Church.
I stayed in River House in the summer of '68 as I worked on a Navy proposal to replace Honeywell equipment with IBM.
Thanks for the note! Glad to have you.
You must wonder what effect your blog has on readers. So here I go. I have found it to be interesting, educational, informative and a bit inspiring. For instance, I realize that I, also, have mitteilungsbedürfnis. However, I do not have your talent for expressing myself. Nor the courage. To compensate for that lack, I have taken a different tack and created six different websites for my army (1955-7) buddies, fraternity brothers and different branches of the family. The fraternity and army sites each have had over 100 members and more than 600 historical photos and articles. My genealogical research resulted in a 65 page family history for my wife’s paternal side. That was accompanied by dozens of photo books prepared on Shutterfly depicting family history on both sides. One part of my life that awaits a history is Saigon and our experiences there. The memories are painful as it was not my proudest moment, one clouded by the haze of alcohol and dissension. I lived in DC from 1962-68 working on the IRS account, helping with the conversion of the income tax system from punch cards to 1401/7070. And eventually System/360 with Hypertape. What a great experience. I lived in the River House across from the pentagon and eventually bought a house in Alexandria, 3 br, 1.5 ba for $14,000. We share some other common history, Al Bissell. I worked for Al in DC when he was GEM Region Systems Engineering Manager. What a great guy., always with a quip ( can’t make the dogs eat the dog food) and sage advice. That was about 4 years prior to Saigon. In April I begin my 88th year, so it is highly unlikely that our paths will cross again, so keep up the good work. Best wishes for you and yours. Bob
You probably don't pretend enough, Graham. That is to say, you don't 'play the game'. That makes everyone uncomfortable....