I recently wrote that a book about my life might find a readership. My first family of three born in the 80s, raised in affluence in the Washington swamp, and turning out miserably. A second family of three born in the second decade of the 21st century, raised considerably more frugally in much more traditional Ukraine, and apparently turning out well.
The new family is so pleasant that Oksana is working to convince me to have yet another child. Absolute madness, by any standard measure. I would be 81 when the child was born. I would almost certainly not live to see the child reach adulthood.
Yet, yet in some broader context it might make sense. Moreover, since the book I’m thinking about would be for a broader audience, the considerations are worth discussing. I have not seen them raised elsewhere. I have written a piece entitled Adoption or Godparenting - Helping alleviate the birth dearth. Consider this post as a first draft of a possible chapter. I have also posted it here as a PDF.
If Oksana and I were to have a fourth child, there is a huge likelihood that I would not see that child’s 20th birthday. By this homemade actuarial chart, a man of 80 – that’s me – has already outlived half of his birth cohort. He has a 26% chance of making 90 and a 0.51% - that’s one in two hundred – of making 100. It goes without saying that he is likely to lose the physical strength and mental capacity needed to be a father some years before he expires.
Society itself, however, has a big interest in such a potential child. Here I’m being chauvinistic – I mean the society of people like me. There are just not enough white folks being born in any stratum of society. We are especially short of people with the wit to bear and rear healthy, intelligent children.
While having such a child, what would seem to be an irrational risk for Oksana and me to take, it could make a lot of sense from a societal point of view. How can these perspectives be reconciled?
Lots has been written about the birth dearth, the demographic collapse, and especially the damage wrought by the Covid vaccines. While there are general exhortations to have children, not much is written about how it might be managed. It will make a useful chapter in my book.
I am fishing for feedback. Please suggest books and articles related to this topic, and by all means give feedback about your own life’s experience.
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That, and an upcoming Toastmasters speech on the value (or not) of an American college education, is what the strong man has been up to. The good-looking woman is diligently practicing English, teasing out the nuances in words such as consecutive. Also teaching English. Winter is around the corner. We switched back to standard time, meaning the sun sets today at 4:39. That’s the news from Lake WeBeGone.
There's a saying that you can find in a variety of versions claimed by a variety of people. "Blessed are old people who plant trees knowing that they shall never sit in the shade of their foliage."
It may be time to plant another tree. Think of it as a vote for the future.
My only child was a love child, born in the 1960s. She was adopted by her maternal grandparents and I met her when she was a young adult. We seem to have formed a relationship that works well, and it has been enhanced when she had three great children.
What a mistake I made. I can see now that children are a blessing, lots of fun and well worth the investment. But I was brought up in a selfish age, from a poor background, so I was wary of having children. I despair when I think my attitudes are the prevalent norm today.
Increasing the fertility rate will not be easy. It will require a rethinking of society and new incentives. You should write an article about it.