Grandpa Sasha died last night. He had lived with us for most of the past two years as he saw doctors for his kidney problems, leg amputation and breathing difficulties. The latter two were undoubtedly brought on by smoking. Complaining that his lungs were full of fluid and he couldn’t breathe, he recently spent ten days in the hospital. He was home for two days after discharge before the ambulance came to take him back on Monday.
Two days ago they diagnosed him with Covid and put him on a ventilator. He was clearly on his last legs. I doubt that the hospital had any notion that a ventilator would help, and they probably didn’t do a diagnostic test for Covid. They may have seen that death was inevitable and used the opportunity to boost their statistics.
Grandma Nadia now has to make the kind of decisions that she does not handle well. Burial or cremation? Here or home in Svetlovodsk? What to do about a service? I’m sure it will come down to what she is familiar with. Burial in the home town after an Orthodox memorial service. It will be expensive for us, but only by local standards, and it will allow Nadia to discharge her last big obligation in life with dignity.
She will surely want to live again in Svetlovodsk. Her son Igor is there to help her. It will be a big change for us, not having the grandparents around. Less stress for Oksana – Nadia argues fairly constantly. On the other hand, she won’t be around to help with Marianna, which will mean more work for us. My prediction is that she will not like living alone with nobody depending on her or to accept the advice she constantly offers. Also, her own medical problems will bring her back to Kyiv with some regularity. We need to keep a room for her.
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I had been thinking about death. My ex-wife Mary Ann is approaching 70. Her mother died of cancer at 69; her father had suffered years of Parkinson’s before he died at 75. Mary Ann had a melanoma before I left. One of our children is dead, another lost on the streets of Portland, and the third, I think, still far away in Stockholm. I have no recent news of her, but at the time I left she was not spending much time with friends. Her primary evening activity was watching TV. I’m sure she is vaxxed to the max. It is time to write an appreciation, just in case. Though it didn’t add up to a satisfying life together, there are quite a few good things to say. I need to do it.
Blood, Sweat and Tears’ rendition of Laura Nyro’s “And When I die” had been running through my mind. Nyro was a genius with lyrics. It is a beautiful, matter-of-fact point of view. I try to explain to Oksana that I’m not scared of dying and when my time comes I want to go naturally. My parents accepted the end with dignity. My friend Mona Hanford reflected on her husband Bill’s and anticipated her own departure in a book, Graceful Exit.
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Subscriber Romanos put me onto Shanna Swan, a woman who has deeply studied the falling sperm count situation. Her explanation is that it has a lot to do with microplastics and agricultural chemicals. I am sure there is room for EMF as well. In any case, study after study has confirmed the drop in sperm count. Moreover, the numbers are remarkably consistent considering the number of measurement techniques, countries, ages and so on. They are all right around 50%.
I’m not a video guy, so I downloaded her 2017 article on what was happening. Just the what, not the why. Here’s an article in which she explains her more recent conclusions about Endocrine Disrupting Chemicals (EDCs). It says “Thе chеmicals shе has bееn ablе to link most dirеctly to rеproductivе hеalth arе phthalatеs and pеsticidеs, whеrе shе and othеrs havе found convincing еvidеncе of a causal link bеtwееn rеproductivе disordеrs and thе “triazinе” catеgory of hеrbicidеs. Othеr rеsеarchеrs, shе says, havе found еqually incontrovеrtiblе еvidеncе of harm to rеproductivе hеalth from othеr classеs of ЕDCs such as thе bisphеnols.”
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That’s the news from Lake WeBeGone, where the coughs are lingering on and on. I’m going to serve as Toastmaster at our poetry meeting tomorrow, returning home quickly to take care of the kids while Oksana and her mom deal with Sasha’s death.
I'm sorry to hear of Grandpa Sasha's passing. I hope Eddie can write down all that he was told by his grandfather.
My sympathies. I hope that Sasha wasn't too uncomfortable at the end. I do rather think that using a ventilator at that point was probably erring on being unkind rather than caring. Invasive, undignified and uncomfortable treatment at the point where it is pointless seems to be a theme of end of life 'care'. I pray that I am spared such 'treatment' when it is my time to die.